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She agreed about not letting it come between our friendship and also said she wanted to go ASAP, before getting cold feet and backing out. We agreed to go this upcoming weekend, which ws only about three days away at this point. Saturday rolled around and I picked R up at her townhome. She seemed quite nervous and a little bit fidgety, but I didn’t say anything to point it out. R was dressed casual, in khaki shorts, a T shirt, and her nerdy Chaco sandals she wore while kayaking. We loaded up towels and sun screen and then made small talk on the hour and a half drive to the club. We stopped for a quick lunch before driving the last half hour or so to the club. Upon reaching the long dirt road leading to the club neither of us spoke. I asked R if she was okay. Her reply was something to effect of, "I can't believe I'm actually going through with this, but I guess it's too late to back out now." I said, "We can turn around, I don't want you to go if you are not comfortable." "No, if we. So, what do you do for your pain now?…. You must get it somewhere’ Kelly, was talking like her and Jason were the best of buddy’s, or if she was talking in therapy. She held nothing back. ‘Ray spanks me. Often. Always during sex, and sometimes for just the fun of it. He doesn’t realise how much more I could take, and I don’t push him for more, or that would worry him. I suppress a lot of desires, and all in all I cope. A lot of it, with them, was just a phase, some of it I miss, badly. The cravings sometimes, stayed away for months, then I’d have a period where I needed to be dominated so badly I could run away. I joined a club once, not far from here. Ray was in London and I was so fucking lonely. I joined this place I found online, and it was great. But, I was spending so much time, getting verbally and physically abused, I had started neglecting the boys. That was no good. I tried to go there less frequent, but that only made the cravings worse. It all came to a head when Ray.
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